Dejavu

This is strange that I am starting to write after years with this post...

Well past few weeks for me have been been real difficult, kind of strange for me. feeling uneasy restless feared for no known reason.
Hard to concentrate on professional work assignments when all was going really well earlier.




I get irritated with small failures like not able to make changes in excel or get data dump from GA. In spite the task being no more than of two days, al-most two weeks have not been able to complete it. Wasting my time watching silly Youtube videos or documentaries.

Today suddenly i realized similar thing happened with me long back in 2001 same time of year. Was preparing for JEE, all was going well, cleared screening exam got decent rank too. Coaching classes my solution in Maths and Physics were always appreciated. And suddenly i find myself in tricky situation not being able to concentrate on studies in the last, final but most important lap for JEE. used to play age of empires hiding late night instead of solving thermodynamics or applying calculus to coordinate geometry.



Then i thought deeper, reminded that that year was also Maha Kumbh...
Can all this be attributed to stars, astrology?


I failed in final exam of JEE, in spite of trying all the auspecious things like visiting maha khubh taking holy bath, attending some satsang of guruji by traveling to delhi from kanpur.

Not able to predict, project the future from now for me, where am i headed to failing professionally? or in personal relationship?

After all I am married man now and supposed to be more responsible.

Scared, skeptical of the times to come in my life ahead...